Today I just can't.

 Today is a day for celebration.

A day to contemplate and reflect on one of the most gracious and amazing blessings we've been given. A day to remember. A day to be thankful. Death has no victory. Death could not hold our Savior. The Bible doesn't end at the cross or the tomb. And yet, despite knowing this amazing gift, despite knowing how grateful and joyful I should be I just can't. Don't get me wrong, I want to. I want to be happy, I want to smile and share this great gift with others, but today I just don't have it. I don't have the strength to rise above and do what I know I should. There's too much pain.

SO

MUCH

PAIN

I just can't. I'm overwhelmed by the twitches and spasms, the ceaseless screaming in my ears, the feeling that my limbs are being torn apart at the joints, and the way every part of me feels so very heavy. You would think by now I would be used to dealing with the constant pains and be able to rise above but it seems the weather is set on being high pressured and rainy. Today the depression is winning. Today the darkness and gloom seem to be too hard to hold back. I wish I could put the smile on, "fake it til you make it" right? Sometimes forcing a smile and pretending to be happy can lead to actually feeling that way; positivity breeds positivity. But today I can't even get there. I think that's ok though. God understands. Jesus was nailed to a cross. He understands how overwhelming pain can be. He knows it's hard and even in our darkest hours He says "Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest". Because pain, sin, and death could not hold Him. The grave could not hold Him. He rose from the dead and He lives. He lives so that we too will live. I look forward to that life. I may not be smiling and I may not be able to move without wincing but still I rejoice in the Lord.

Praying you too can rejoice in the Lord no matter how hard life may seem

Mel from the NorMel House






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