Desiring children Part 2

Read Genesis 22:1-19

Have you ever prayed about something and left it with God, only to take it back again? I know I have. I often try to leave my worries and desires with God only to be worrying and wanting again soon after. Sometimes I wonder if Abraham struggled with this. So many times, the LORD told him about his offspring, and yet, he wasn't patient enough to wait for the Lord to give him a child; like his wife he tried to force God's hand. When faced with the most high God he basically told the LORD that He wasn't keeping His promise. In Genesis 15:2-3, "Abram said, 'O Sovereign LORD, what can you give me since I remain childless and the one who will inherit my estate is Eliezer of Damascus?' And Abram said, 'You have given me no children; so, a servant in my household will be my heir'."

Can you imagine being faced with our amazing and powerful God and showing such an arrogant and supercilious attitude? I cringe to think of it. And yet, despite unbelief, the LORD reassured Abram saying, "'Look up at the heavens and count the stars - if indeed you can count them.' Then He said to him, 'So shall your offspring be'." (Genesis 15:5) What comes in the next verse amazes me. Genesis 15:6 says, "Abram believed the LORD, and He credited it to him as righteousness." Abram believed this promise; He showed such trust that God credited to him as righteousness.

But the story isn't over yet. In Genesis 16 Abram seems to have forgotten this trust. When Sarah came to him, she said, "The LORD has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my maidservant, perhaps I can build a family through her." What was Abram's response to his wife's doubt? He didn't tell her to trust God and God's timing, he didn't show authority as the head of the house; instead, we read in verse 6, "Abram agreed to what Sarah said." When the results of his actions brought strife to his household, he once again gave in to Sarah. He allows her to mistreat Hager, which caused Hagar to flee. The LORD intervened, brought Hagar back, and when Hagar had a son, he was named Ishmael.

God continued to show love for Abram and once again promised Abram (now Abraham) a child by his wife Sarah. Genesis 17: 15-16 says, "God also said to Abraham, 'As for Sarai your wife, you are no longer to call her Sarai; her name will be Sarah. I will bless her so that she will be the mother of nations; kings of peoples will come from her'." Once again, Abraham showed no trust in God. He actually laughed at the thought that God would give him a child through Sarah. (Genesis 17:17). God shows His patience and yet again, "God said, 'Yes, but your wife Sarah will bear you a son, and you will call him Isaac'." How patient God is with our sinful doubting! Many times, Abraham was blessed with speaking to God, and having God reassure him of His promises. We must not be like the doubting Abraham, but instead, trust God's Word.

If we continue through Genesis, we can see Abraham's journey to trust. Isaac was born as God promised. Then, when faced with his wife's discontent, Abraham makes the right decision and listens to what God tells him to do.

I've thought long and hard about what comes in Genesis 22. Many times, I've prayed for faith as strong as Abraham's was in this chapter. Many times, I've questioned myself wondering if I could have done what Abraham did. Most of the time, I fear, I'm severely lacking. Those of us who have struggled with infertility or with the loss of a child are more likely to struggle with this passage. Abraham's longing for a child was answered in Isaac. Not long after Isaac came around, Ishmael and his mother are sent away and seem to be forgotten by Abraham.

In Genesis 22 God tells Abraham, "Take your son, your only son, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about." Can you even imagine this? The child you've longed for for years, the one and only heir that God promised to bring nations from, God is now asking you to not only give him up, but to sacrifice him! I can only imagine the thoughts going through Abraham's head.

Abraham's trust in God was so complete that he didn't even question God's command. He traveled three days with the knowledge that God was telling him to give up his only son to God. In my own weakness I realize I'm not so strong as Abraham. God took each of my children home to Himself and all I ever think about is how I would never have chosen that. In my selfishness I want them back. Abraham's faith in God's promises was so strong that when he tells the servants to stay back, he also says, "We will worship and then we will come back to you." (Genesis 22:5). He fully believed that even though God asked this of him, God would also work it so Isaac would still become the father of nations, as promised. He went so far as to have the knife ready to slay his son. Abrahams' trust was rewarded, and God provided a ram to sacrifice instead. God was testing Abraham's faith and commitment, and He blessed him for his trust. How hard this must have been for both Abraham and Isaac. Isaac trusted his father to the point of getting tied up and prepared as a sacrifice.

We can learn a valuable lesson from both Isaac and Abraham. We may not understand why God puts us in various situations or why He calls our children home before we're ready, but I don't think you can ever really be ready to lose a child. Children are a precious gift from God, and ultimately are only ours for a time. Some get to raise their children and watch them grow. Some lose them at birth, and still others are only pregnant for a short while, never getting to hold or even meet their child. The loss of a child stays with you your whole life. For women, especially, we lose a piece of ourselves when the bond between mother and child is cut short. Ultimately, we must realize that our children belong to God, and we must trust His plan for them.

What I say next may rub you the wrong way and you may not be ready to hear it; tuck it in your heart for another day. Someone once tried to comfort me with the knowledge that even though my children all died, they are all with God. I don't have to worry that they won't be saved or that they'll fall away. As a believer I can be confident that my children are safe in my heavenly Father's hands. I admit this hit me hard and I was angry for a time, but eventually, that reality did provide some comfort. We can find comfort knowing we're not alone in our grief and struggles. Abraham trusted, then doubted several times but ultimately entrusted his child to God's plan. We too must learn to trust, but also be patient in times of confusion or doubt. When we cry over the loss of a child, we can find comfort knowing we're not alone. God, Himself, not only watched His Son die, but actually sent Him to that death! God knows the pain and grief of dealing with the death of a child. Despite knowing that Christ would rise from the dead, that pain would still be felt. We too, can feel that pain, despite knowing we'll see our children again. How amazing is His love for us, that He gave up His only Son for us! So, when grief hits you, cry out to God, He understands. Pray and try to leave your grief with Him. Every time you find yourself taking that grief back, be confident that in prayer you can turn it over to Him again. Trust that He wanted your child, His child, to come home. Our children that have gone on before us are safe in the hands of our heavenly Father, and we will see them again.