Desiring children Part 3

 

Read 1 Samuel 1

Do you long for a child? Do you find yourself on your knees time and again asking God to give you a child? Sometimes, this desire can be so strong it physically hurts. It can feel like a big, gaping hole in your chest, a hollow empty chasm that never heals over; although it may feel like it, I promise you, you’re not alone.

So far, we’ve looked at the doubting Sarah and the volte-face doubting and trusting of Abraham. Today, however, I want to call your attention to Hannah, the wife of Elkanah in 1 Samuel 1. Hannah was one of Elkanah’s two wives, and right away in verse 2 we see there’s a problem because of this. “Peninnah had children, but Hannah had none.” (1 Samuel 1:2).

Year after year Elkanah took his family to Shiloh to worship and bring sacrifices to God. Although Peninnah gave him children, Elkanah favored Hannah. He gave her a double portion of meat because he loved her, and because “The LORD had closed her womb.” Now it’s no wonder Peninnah was jealous and that led to her provoking Hannah. Every year this went on and every time “Hannah went up to the house of the LORD, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat.” (1 Samuel 1:7). So not only was Hannah barren and desiring a child, but she was also being provoked till she wept! How horrible, that every time she went to the house of the LORD to worship, the place where she should have found peace, she was brought to tears!

Has anyone ever said something to you that, although it was meant to be helpful, was simply hurtful and unkind? People say a lot of things to try comfort those who are grieving, often not realizing they’re doing more harm than good. Someone once said to me, “If you want a child so bad, why don’t you just adopt?” Seems innocent enough, but at the time I wasn’t grieving the lack of a child, but rather, the loss of MY child. While it may have been meant to be helpful, it was really just hurtful and made me feel guilty for wanting my own child, the one I had just lost. As if the torment by Peninnah wasn’t bad enough, Hannah’s husband, Elkanah, actually added guilt to her grief. Instead of consoling her, he makes her feel guilty for wanting a child! In 1 Samuel 1:8 he says to her, “Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?” Basically, Elkanah was asking, “Am I not sufficient?” That’s about as helpful as a kick in the gut.

If we look back at Hannah it is obvious that her desire for a child of her own was strong. Our text describes Hannah as weeping because of the bitterness of her soul. In that bitterness, she prayed. Have you ever cried out in bitterness? It would have been easy for Hannah to feel hopeless and helpless. Hannah didn’t know what God’s plan was, or if God would grant her a child, yet she continued to pray. Her weeping year after year is something some of us understand all too well. The desire to have a child can consume and overwhelm us at times. Every year the pain of being barren would have felt worse and worse. The older a woman gets, the more they feel their time for having children is running out. Many of us will go through the rest of our lives dealing with this same desire in our hearts.

Again, as if all this wasn’t bad enough, adding insult to injury, Hannah gets accused of being a drunk by, none other than the priest, Eli. How much worse it must have felt when the person who was supposed to intervene between God and His people, not only misunderstood her, but thought she was a drunk! Can you imagine? It can be quite hurtful when others don’t understand your pain, especially when it’s someone important to you. Have patience with others, even when they don’t understand.

Hannah sought God in prayer, confident that God heard her because she knew God loves His people. She asks that God would heal her deep pain and grant her request. Our text says, “she was speaking from the heart”. In other words, her prayer was heartfelt.

I’d like to point out that once she poured out her heart to God, she goes away and “her face was no longer downcast.” (1 Samuel 1:18). In God, she found her peace. She prayed and turned her attitude from what she wanted to trusting that God is sovereign, whether He gives us the desires of our hearts or not. When He does not give us what we want, we should remind ourselves that God’s plan for us is better than our own.

What can we learn from all this? Firstly, we can be confident in our prayers, even if we are asking the same thing year after year. God loves us and wants us to come to Him. Give the desires of your heart over to Him and trust Him with your pain and sorrow. Secondly, it’s ok to weep when we pray. God understands, and when we don’t have the words, we can be confident that “the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit, Himself, intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words”. (Romans 8:26). Many times, I have found myself on my knees weeping, trying to pray, but unable to form a sentence or come up with the words I need. It’s ok. God knows we are weak, turn to Him even if it’s in silence. Ask that the Spirit would intervene for you. Thirdly, Hannah’s response to her tormentor was to go to God in prayer. When the going got tough, she sought out the source of our strength, the LORD. So, when we aren’t getting our hearts desire, or when people make your life difficult, our first response should be to bring it all before God in prayer. Our strength is not our own, but from and through God. Paul quotes Jesus in 2 Corinthians 12:9, when he says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” God’s plan for you is infinitely better than your own plan, even if you don’t see it or understand it. We must take our struggles to God in prayer, and, like Hannah, leave it with God and go in peace. Hannah was not promised a child, but she still managed to stay strong in her faith and bring her cares to the only one whose love is greater than our understanding. Find your peace and your strength in the our heavenly Father.