Why do we fight? James 4:1-6 Part 7


Read James 4:1-6

In the end of chapter 3 James told us that peacemakers sow a harvest of righteousness; true wisdom is seen in peace, humility, mercy, love and submission to God. Thus, what follows in today’s passage, is behavior that is not in line with true wisdom, in fact, it is the opposite. James goes right to the heart of the problem and asks us – What causes fights and quarrels among you? He doesn’t go into detail about what they were fighting and quarreling about, but instead, he nails the source of the problem immediately – our heart’s desires. 

Fights and quarrels come from a hedonistic attitude. Hedonism is the theory that we should seek pleasure and satisfaction of our desires above all else. It says this is the aim of human life and the highest good, however, the Bible says, “Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world to abstain from sinful desires which war against your soul.” (1 Peter 2:11). Restlessness and unfulfilled desires cause us to fight and are not a reflection of true wisdom. The Bible tells us to abstain from our sinful desires as this world is not our home. James wants us to look closely at the things we long for in our hearts. The humble will seek God, but the proud person thinks they are in control of their own destiny and that they can get what they want for themselves. As Christians there is an internal struggle of the heart to live in righteousness and humility. In Romans 7:21-23 Paul says, “So I find this law at work. When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.” Like Paul, we should be fighting an internal struggle against our own sinful desires. It is a continuous battle that won’t end until Judgement Day. Satan will continue to try to get us to be selfish and to turn from God; he won't let up until Judgement day. 

Often, we try to shift the blame for our sin to others, but the Bible says it is our own sinful desires that are the problem. The passions of our hearts cause us to be jealous, envious and hate others. Murder is the extreme conclusion of envy, jealousy and hatred. Coveting was already forbidden in the Old Testament in the ten commandments because the evil desires of our hearts cause us to conspire to get what we want. This leads to bitter hatred, spite and pettiness, which are the root of murder in our hearts. In Matthew 5:21-22 Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not murder’ and anyone who murders will be subject to judgement. But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment.” Anger and coveting are the beginnings of hatred and murder. Sin starts with the things you long for in your heart. Because sin touches every area of our lives, so too, quarreling and fighting affect every relationship we have, including our friendships and marriage. We must acknowledge the true source of our anger, fighting, quarreling and sin. It comes from within; from the desires we harbor in our hearts. Satan can present us with temptations, but it is our own hearts that choose to pursue them.

James goes on to tell us that “You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask you do not receive because you ask with wrong motives.” Again, we’re brought back to our hearts. When we come to God in prayer we must come with the right motives; God knows the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7 says, “For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.” When we come to Christ the condition of the human heart changes and we become part of an antithetical and unrelenting war. The world is in opposition to God. We must pray and bring our concerns before God; however, we must do so with the right motives. Jesus taught us how to pray, not for our own “kingdoms” and “will”. Instead, He taught us to pray that God’s kingdom come, and God’s will be done. Prayer isn’t about having our desires fulfilled, but rather, that God will align our will to His perfect will. In and of ourselves we are unfaithful to God and our hearts are prone to wander, but prayer is not for us to present a wish list to God. We should ask God to change our desires, so they correspond to His will for us. 1 John 5:14 says, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.” God hears the prayers of those who call on Him in truth, sincerity and submission; our hearts must be penitent. If you ask God to fix things then you must be open to His solution. We must approach prayer in humility and with a heart that pleases God. It must be a genuine submission. 

Our sinful desires come from a heart that is not truly dedicated to God. When we willingly choose to do things that are wrong it is Spiritual adultery. Because Christ bought us with His blood, we have no right to behave any way we choose. Our behavior should be determined by His. We can see this in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 where it says, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your body.” As Christians, the grace we received that reconciles us to God causes us to be at war with the world, our own flesh, and the devil. The humility we are called to, submits to God, resists the devil, seeks purity, directs our emotions and leads to a right relationship with God. It is the Holy Spirit at work in us that enables us to fight our own inclinations.

We are called to repentance, but James begins by reminding us of God’s character. God is a jealous God and He longs for our faithfulness and love. He tells us this in the commandments already in the Old Testament. Exodus 20:5 says, “For I the Lord your God am a jealous God.” This is not a sinful jealousy, but God’s jealousy is rooted in something He has a proper claim to. He is properly jealous of a love that should be exclusively His; God will not put up with rivalry and unfaithfulness. James tells us in verse 5, “Or do you think that the scripture says without reason that the Spirit He caused to live in our hearts envies intensely.” We were given the Holy Spirit to live and work in our hearts and He wants our hearts exclusively. Because of the nature of God’s love for His children, He doesn’t abandon us to our sin. Instead, He gives more grace. He doesn’t allow us to feel good in our sin but allows our mess so that we will turn back to Him. We are like the prodigal son. Even though we keep on taking, sinning and needing forgiveness, God continuously gives us grace upon grace. James, once again, brings us back to humility when he refers to Proverbs 3:34, “He mocks proud mockers but gives grace to the humble.” Peter also refers to this text and tells us, “Humble yourselves therefore under God’s mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time.” (1 Peter 5:6). The resolution to fighting and quarreling is therefore grace, which the proud will never receive but the humble will continuously receive. True humility sees the truth about our hearts. We can submit to God because He has given us the Holy Spirit to work in our hearts. Romans 5:5 says, “God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” God gives us grace upon grace. In Christ we are redeemed and by the Spirit we are made new and able to love God and flee from sin. God gives us grace to resist sin, grace to love and grace to obey.

Fighting and quarreling are a direct result of our own sinful desires. Instead of trying to obtain the sinful things we want, we need to submit ourselves to God in humility. We should think about the motives behind the things we want to pray for and ask God to change our sinful desires, trusting that He will give us all we need, including the Holy Spirit. When we allow God to change our desires so that they correspond to His will, our prayers become powerful. God, who puts His Spirit in us, wants an intimate relationship with us. We ought to pray for humility as pride makes us think we deserve everything we want; by humbling ourselves before God we can see that He is all we really need. By the working of the Holy Spirit, we can see what the seductions of Satan and the world really are. These sinful things we want are a cheap substitute for what God has in store for us. So earnestly pray for humility, seek God’s will for your life and He will give grace upon grace to forgive and fight this battle.


1. How do the sinful desires of our hearts lead to quarrels and fights?

2. What things should we pray for to help us abstain from fighting?

3. What is Spiritual adultery and why does God tell us not to commit it?

4. Why can’t we be friends with both God and the world?

5. Who does God give grace to?

6. Find a passage in the bible that speaks about our relationship as bride to Christ and answer how it relates to today’s text.


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